It wasn’t until many discussions with counselors did I begin to believe I could do what I enjoyed in life instead of what was expected. it was about that time I decided to open myself to enjoying life, and that, for me, included doing some serious gaming.
I sold my wife a false bill of goods to 15 years ago with the ideas I was a gun tooting, football playing, hunting/sports enthusiast. To be fair, I am all those things. I knew she was not interested in dating a “gamer, “ and in all critical measures, I was never a gamer. Since Super Mario Brothers, I can count on one hand video games I played consistently to achieve any passable skill at being somewhat decent at. Actually, I can count on one finger, 2006 Madden for Sony Gameboy. I had A LOT of free time in Mississippi in 2010 and the SAN DIEGO Chargers were Super Bowl Champions for 12 consecutive seasons. (When QB Drew Brees, RB, HOF, GOAT, Ladanian Tomlison, Vincent Jackson, AND Shawne Merriman are on one team, nothing can go wrong) I did not disclose during our courtship that I may enjoy playing a round or 2 of video games or gathering good for a old fashion tabletop RPG. I was dating a very attractive woman who might actually like me. Sure it was not the honest version of myself, but who is the completely honest version of themselves when trying to enter a relationship. (Side note: I also straight up lied to her about my age. I could, and did, shave 5 years off my actual age. Imagine the conversation when I finally admitted I was an old man) The honest version emerged a few years into the relationship. Try to imagine disclosing to your significant other that you have a nerdtastic secret. So I did what every good man does to his wife, I snuck around played D&D in secret.
Eventually I had to come clean that I was meeting with a gaming group once a week to roll dice and pretend to be wizards. She was understanding, kind, and encouraging for the interests in my life and genuinely wanted me to pursue interests I enjoyed. As my youngest always says: “FUN FACT” Partners want you to be happy. This was completely a novel concept to me coming from a highly religious family who uses guilt as a love language. Don’t get me wrong she ridicules me mercilessly for my nerdy tendencies, my nerdy group and my constant stream of nerdy paraphernalia. That is what happens between to people when they feel safe in a relationship. I make fun of her, let me think, …….still thinking…… i got nothing. She is way too cool to ridicule.
I crawled back to my buddies group again and they welcomed me with open arms. This particular group has been meeting for about two years with fairly consistent participation. I got to know the crew, and it was a definitely band of misfits, so i fit right in. Even though the DM and I had known each other for years, I was finally meeting his band of lovable misfits. I learned good DM can assemble a strong following based on a cult of personality, and my buddy was succeeding in gathering his own rabid following.
I also learned they were about to embark on another journey.
Durgan's Dungeon 